2/1/23

As the New Year rolls in, I feel energized and excited. Hopeful and warm in the realization that there are a thousand possibilities with my art and my self, and I feel ready to take a lot of things to the Next Level. For the past few years, I've been super hesitant in actually working on a lot of the things I truly dream about doing. It's obvious to anyone that theres No Time Better Than Now, but it doesn't always work that way - I guess, in some way, I wanted to make sure everything I made would be exactly how I wanted it to be. It's clear now that that's not how it should happen or work at all. The question of Why I desire to create so much is such a deeply confusing and unanswerable one, but it's clear that this is something I simply must do, in any form I can handle. It doesn't matter if people like it, and it doesn't matter if people even acknowledge it.

I've got a few, loose New Years resolutions and I've got some more concrete ones that I'd like to actually work on. I don't want to give myself insanely ambitious goals, because that's obviously how things get unfinished and how people get burnt out. My goals are as follows:

• Be a kinder, more sincere person. This will come naturally as I work on it, which is an insanely motivational thing to think about. I can become a better person simply by Becoming A Better Person. It's insane, and it makes me somewhat confused that some people refuse to make this choice when they can. I need to be a nicer person because the world deserves it and needs it, it's as simple as that.. too much sadness and hate in the world nowadays, too much meaningless irony and unfriendship for no reason at all.


• Work on my music more. I'd like to have at least one "Proper" album finished by the end of the year, but I know that more is possible. By Proper, I simply mean with songs that I've worked on, with lyrics or themes that matter to me - the creation of it has to be some kind of artistic experience too, and it will shine through in the work. It's hard to say what kind of "style" i want to go for when creating an album because it just kind of happens, but I'm limited by my acoustic guitar, so it'll definitely be some kind of Folk-influenced deal. I have some songs written already - some with words and some without, and the words might just be the hardest part. It's so hard to sing sincerely without feeling like I'm embarassing myself, or being too obtuse. It's such a delicate balance!


• Read more and engage more in Art. I'm already working on this. This one seems so obvious, it's like the most obvious thing in the world. But it's good in every single way to read more; it'll help me write, too, which is very important. Possibly the most important. Watching films is a different kind of thing, but it feels like I've been in some bizarre dream-mode where I literally won't watch things because I'm waiting for my life to start so I can start watching things again. It's the most bizarre, pointless feeling. Pure neurosis, and it stops this year.


• Start collaborating artistically with more people. I'd love to be a part of some kind of net label or Artist Collective, perhaps one that doesn't take itself super seriously, so I can be free to work on what I want to work on without having to be too hard on myself.

As for the site: as is probably obvious, I want to keep it as minimal as possible. But that just makes the sparse stylistic decisions I do make even heftier, so it's truly difficult to decide. I hope that I don't keep tinkering with the design too much, but it's actually quite fun to fine tune it to my liking - I'm being influenced looking at older websites and recognising the tiny things that I do and don't appreciate about them. Though the site's content is bare bones at the moment, it would be nice to expand it a bit more to better cover the bredth of what I do and what I want to show. The possibilities are really endless, but I want to definitely keep it to the blog format for the time being.

I'd like to wish everyone a very genuine Happy New Year too.. from the bottom of my heart.