Tried my hand at oil painting for the first time yesterday. Feeling spirited. I need to focus myself more on creation and acting rather than existing in this kind of vague nonexistence-bubble. I feel like art is the best way to dicipline. Maybe creation for the sake of creation isn't so bad. I can create things for intense purposes too if I need to, but overall this just feels like what I Need To Do. Why does it need to be more than that?
with my painting, i wasnt really sure what i was going to do, i only had a vague idea of what colours i'd be trying to use (i've been thinking about painting for a few days beforehand; thinking of colours that go well together and how to use them). i kind of knew that this first painting would be simple and abstract because I really went in with no idea except for the colours; I did a blue border, then added red and yellow onto the rest of it. It came out pretty well, to be honest, but I'm not sure what to even say about it. It's too simple. It feels like a good start but definitely unchallenging and too easy, I should challenge myself. My idea is that once it dries I can use it as a backdrop to a more complicated thing; maybe a painting of a Person or something. Which would be an insane step up, but possible...
the reason people dont look at me the same way anymore is because im closed off, its true. ive become something different. its ok. i can stop being that