24/12/22

Insignificance matters far too much to me, and I'm too weak to create significance, only observe it. So that changes now. 2023 is an important year. I remember I felt pretty strongly about the year shifting over into 2022 as well, and was going to Reach Out to certain people.. I'm not sure if I'd want to reach out some of those poeple anymore. The truth is, a lot of people drift apart for reasons that make a lot of sense. There is only incidence and convenience keeping some people together.. it's weird, but a lot of my friends of the past are people who really had no interest in me as a person. People I purely Knew and Kept Up With because it was all we knew. It's as if people are swept along by this invisible force that everyone can feel but nobody wants to mention.. the desire to be a part of something greater, which involves going through this routine. When I'm feeling particularly avoidant, these routines seem distressing to me, and I detach myself from them completely and lose my friends in the process. It's awful, and it's something that should never happen again, I will make sure of it.